Where'd You Go?
by Suku17
Summary: Yazoo and Loz loved their brother more than they ever knew. After Kadaj's death, Yazoo and Loz are finding it hard to cope. Kadaj is dead, Loz is growing more emotionally unstable and Yazoo is becoming suicidal. His Velvet Nightmares look very inviting...
1. Why Did You Take Him From Us?

**Chapter 1: Remember when?**

* * *

"Yazoo..." Loz mumbled in his sleep and rolled over to face Yazoo, as he whimpered slightly. Yazoo opened one eye and looked at Loz. He lifted himself a few inches off the bed and looked at the clock. 

"Four in the morning..." he groaned and dropped himself back down to the bed. Laying on his back and staring to the ceiling, Yazoo, the middle "child", began to wonder about what the day held for him and him and his brothers. "I wonder what Mother would say if we had to go to school.." he faded off and closed his eyes, smiling. "Heh.Probably, YOU were born with more knowledge than anyone in a college can teach. It's being social and normal around people . Coping with emotion... bah." He looked over Loz's bulky body, (Loz at tht time was wrapped around Yazoo's slender waist) at Kadaj, the youngest of the three of the silver-haired brothers.

Kadaj groaned and rolled off the bed with a THUMP. (A.N. They share a mattress in an average sized bedroom.) He woke up on his back on the cold, hardwood floor. Yazoo, (who was already awake) and Loz, (who had woken up at the THUMP) both peeked over the edge of the bed at Kadaj sitting on the floor in his boxers looking confused. He looked up at them and narowed his eyes. "What're you lookin' at? Seriously!"

Loz couldn't help himself and began to giggle. Yazoo began laughing, too. Kadaj looked at them, and realizing how odd it was to wake up to this in the morning, began laughing in spite of himself. The two boys on the bed both reached a hand to Kadaj. Kadaj took their outstretched hads and they pulled him onto the bed. The three brothers huddled together and wrapped themselves in the big, warm quilt that covered their bed, all still laughing.

** Times like these had come to a painful halt when the youngest, Kadaj had died.**

Yazoo and Loz both powered across the countryside on their motorcycles. Loz stopped, but Yazoo plowed on. Soon, after realizing Loz was not following him, he turned around and drove back to the spot where Loz had stopped. Yazoo slowed to a halt and dismounted his bike. He found his brother Loz wiping tears from his eyes. Yazoo, the long-haired brother, walked to Loz and put an arm around his shoulders.

"Don't Loz... please... you're gonna make me..." He didn't have time enough to finish this sentence before his own stream of tears began their hot flow down his cheeks.

The two brothers sat there on Loz's bike for awhile, both crying to themselves softly. Loz broke the silence. " I-I m-miss Ka-Kad-daj!" His silent tears grew to a loud, choked sob. He reached his arms around his brother. Yazoo couldn't contain himself either.

" I do to, Loz..." Yazoo tried to choke back his tears to comfort his brother, but he couldn't. His attempt resulted in a loud gurgley gulping noise as his tears grew louder too. A few minutes passed, and Yazoo interjected, "I'm tired of this... come on Loz." He put his hands on Loz's shoulders and held him out and looked at him.

"Go where, Ya-z-zoo?" He choked out through his tears.

"On a walk." Yazoo replied, smiling gently, tears still streaming down his involuntary cheeks. "Come on, brother."

"Where're we going, Yazzy?" Loz followed Yazoo bluntly.

The two silver-haired brothers walked for quite a ways from the road and found themselves at the edge of a familiar bluff. A bluff that not too far from the city of Midgar. A bluff that brought back pain-filled memories as Yazoo looked over the surface of the bluff and and three marks from the tires of three cycles that had been there not so very long ago. Marks belonging to the motorcycles of Yazoo, Loz, and the source of their tears... their deceased brother Kadaj.

Yazoo fell to the ground on his hands and knees. Loz ran to him, thinking Yazoo had been hurt. Yazoo's body began trambling and quaking as he stared at the ground, hot tears falling to the dust as he cried. Loz kneeled next to him, and Yazoo gained his position to his knees. Loz looked at Yazoo, knowing exactly how he felt, and Yazoo shuffled to Loz on his knees and buried his head in Loz's broad chest. Loz felt his tears coming too, and embraced his brother as they both cried into each other.

**: Yazoo's thoughts:**

_Kadaj... you said you would be here... why Mother..? Why did you have to take him... WHY? All we want is our brother... I mean... I don't know how much longer I can take this without killing myself... or crying myself into nothing._

_ Why... _

Yazoo felt his Velvet Nightmare in it's leather holster. Loz seemed to know exactly what Yazoo was thinking and held him tighter.

"Please Yazoo... I don't want to lose both my brothers..." Loz said sniffling.

"Why did Mother take him? Was it Sephiroth's fault? For using our little brother... to... to... DAMMIT! WHY DID SHE TAKE HIM FROM US? CAN'T YOU SEE WE'RE NOTHING WITHOUT OUR BROTHER? WHY DID YOU TAKE HIM MOTHER? Why..." He shouted and began crying again, only harder this time. His outburst caused his whole body to tremble. He quaked and cried into Loz's chest.


	2. Blood and Tears

**Chapter Two! Be prepared for a twist. Blood and Tears will commence!**  
**(This is dedicated to Northsky and my other frequent reviewers! Thank you guys for all the support! It really helps.)**

* * *

The two stayed together for a time, both shaking as their tears slowed. Yazoo attempted to stand, but he found this near impossible. He lowered himself back to the ground by Loz. The two brothers didn't speak, knowing each others voices would make tears flow. Loz whimpered and Yazoo looked at him momentarily before taking the trembling Loz into his arms.

"Shh... don't worry... it's...wait..." Yazoo stopped in midsentence, realizing with a shock like lightning, _"No Yazoo. Everything's not okay." _Yazoo subconsciously(SP?) stroked Loz's hair and stared into space. _"Nothing may ever be 'okay' again..."_ Yazoo sighed. It was best to stop thinking like that. Move on... but... in the end, is ignorace really the way?

Loz sniffled and looked at Yazoo. "Yaz... what's wrong?" Loz said softly, looking at his brother. Yazoo had a strange look on his face... less of a smile, but not quite a smirk. More of a strange twist of the face. (A.N. If you try the expression, make sure there's no one to see you... it's hard... LOL) "Yazoo? Are you listening?" Loz slid his gloved fingers through the bottom of Yazoo's long hair.

Yazoo looked at Loz, broken from his thoughts. "Yes, nii-san. I'm listening." He stared off into the distance. After a moment he looked back at Loz and smiled gently. "Do you remember what Kadaj always used to say?" He looked at Loz, who layed in his arms like a child that had just had a nightmare.

"About what?"

"About moving on. How we would get caught if we stayed in the same place for too long... do you remember?" Yazoo layed his hand on Loz's forehead. " I think we should move on... you know. Just..." He trailed off as Loz pulled himself to a sitting position.

" Forget?" He buried his face in Yazoo's collarbone. " I can't... _we _can't forget... what if Kadaj comes back? We should be here." Loz looked at Yazoo. " Or are you doubting that Kadaj is strong enough... even in the Lifestream... there could be a chance..." Loz stood up and stared into the horizon.

Yazoo heard this and began to heat at the collar. "He's not coming back!" Yazoo snapped suddenly, with a sharp rise in blood pressure. "He's never coming back, Loz! He. Is. DEAD!" Yazoo breathed heavily, his outburst draining his small energy supply slightly.

Loz cringed at Yazoo's sudden outburst. At the time, Yazoo hit a psycho revolution. He pulled out his Velvet Nightmare and stroked it gently.

"No brother! You can't!" Loz reached for Yazoo and the gun and tripped. "Please... I need you... here..." Loz gasped, the wind knocked out of his lungs.

"Oh Loz... I can't bear it any longer... the pain is so sharp. It hurts..." Yazoo looked at the gun and tears began forming in the corners of his eyes. He slowly lifted the gun to his chest. Loz stared at him in terror.

"No.. please..." Loz begged. He was scared. " The pain... will be... worse if ...you... do that..." He reached out and touched Yazoo's boot softly. "My pain... will.. be worse.. if you do.. that..."

Yazoo walked a few feet to the left of Loz, towards the edge of the bluff. "But Loz... I think... you can live without me. In the state that I'm in... you're better off without me." Yazoo reached for the trigger on his Velvet Nightmare. " I'm sorry..."

"NOOO!!!" Loz screamed and lunged at Yazoo... but alas, he was too late. Yazoo pulled the trigger, but Loz had hit his hand. He shot himself in the chest. Loz's eyes went wide as he watched Yazoo fall to the ground, blood streaming from his chest.

Loz suddenly realized... "I have to do something..."

* * *

** Suspension... oh so sweet. What will become of Yazoo? Wait until the next chapter to find out. Yeah. I know I'm evil... Bwahaha...  
(I didn't shoot Yazoo 'cuz I don't like him. I LOVE HIM!!! I just needed a plot twist.)  
Thank you for reading!  
**


	3. Forever and for Always

Loz scooped Yazoo up in his arms. "Don't worry... we'll find help... I... I..." Loz was on his knees holding Yazoo to his chest. He didn't know what he was going to do. He had made it thru many tough places with his brothers but now... it was just Loz, holding a bloody Yazoo in his arms, wishing for someone there to hold him too. Loz picked up Yazoo and tried to walk towards the road where the bikes were, but found his knees rather useless. He fell back to his knees and yelled at the top of his lungs. "AHHH!!! SOMEBODY HELP ME! I don't know what to do..." He pressed his hand on Yazoo's wound. " Why are you so stupid sometimes?" He lifted his hand, and looked at his glove. The black leather shone with blood.

"Gah... Lozsss..." Yazoo hissed, the pain from the wound must have been overwhelming to Yazoo, who rarely was shot. Loz pressed a finger to Yazoo's lips.

"Shhh... don't talk. I'm going to find us help... I hope." Loz looked at Yazoo, who was partially conscious. He stared at his younger brother. _What do I do? I'm not a leader... I don't know what to do. Please Mother, don't take Yazoo, too... please. _Loz repeated this prayer in his head as he tried once more to stand. This attempt failed, but not as quickly as the other had.

" GAH! Ohh.." Yazoo cried out in pain as the pair fell to the ground. Loz had braced him, but the impact was still strong enough to hurt him. Though only a few feet, The bullet still stayed buried in Yazoo's chest. "Loz..." Yazoo's words came out slightly stronger than before.

Loz pressed his finger to Yazoo's lips. "Don't talk..." His throat felt tight and choked on his held-back tears. Ever since the day they were "born" he had been the oldest. Not that he really tried to be the leader. That was Kadaj. He was always strong, but that didn't make up for the sheer inner helplessness he felt. Right now, that inner-helplessness was destroying every sliver of hope he had. Loz looked at Yazoo. The sight of his beloved brother making his heart bleed. "Yazoo..."

Yazoo, the long- haired sharpshooter, stared straight into a void of nothingness. His normally catlike-bluegreen eyes were cloudy, and his hair drifted flaccidly into his face like molten silver. But what tore Loz's heart to bits were the streams of tears on his face. Yazoo's eyes remained open, and the tears flowed strongly. No sounds of pain or sorrow escaped him. Only his silent, bitter tears. Loz looked away. He knew these eyes. These were the eyes of a dying man. These were the eyes, of a dying _brother_.

Loz stood again, his knees trembling. He didn't care. He would slide to the road on his stomach using his teeth if he had to. He was **NOT **going to lose what little bit of comfort he had left in this cruel world.

_**Several minutes later...**_

Loz walked on, his legs and knees growing stronger as he bent his strength to his will. "I'll save you Yazoo. If I die trying, I'm a failure. If I succeed, forgive me." Loz remembered how Yazoo had said he hurt. It did hurt. Everything that reminded them of Kadaj hurt. Even looking into each others eyes searcing for comfort reminded them of Kadaj. They were drifting apart, leaving Loz with a feeling to far away to be pain, and too close to be sorrow.

**_"Loz, the world is a cruel place." Yazoo held Loz's shoulders. " We have each other. Me, you, and Kadaj. We'll ALWAYS be together.: Yazoo's long hair was in a loose ponytail and strands drifted into his shining eyes._**

**_"Always?" Loz wiped tears from his eyes. _**

**_"Of course Loz!" Kadaj, the youngest said. " We're brothers. Right Yazoo?"_**

**_"Right." Yazoo put an arm over either of his brothers' shoulders. " At times, the world is a bitter and unkind place. We don't fit in. I won't lie to you. No matter what, no matter when, no matter HOW, we will ALWAYS be together. " Yazoo pulled them all together into a hug. "Forever and for always, right?"_**

**_"Forever and for always." Kadaj snuggled against his older brothers. _**

**_"Forever and for always!" Loz wrapped his arms around both his brothers. "Forever... and for always." _**

Loz came to from his thoughts and found himself at the road. The bike engines were cold now. He wasted no time. He evaluated the bikes. Yazoo's was lightly built, considering Yazoo himself was lightly built. It was faster, and slimmer. Loz looked at his. It was made for endurance, and made to be able to hold two people. Quite recently when Yazoo's bike had been split in two, they had resorted to the very same thing. Loz looked at Yazoo's bike again.

Quickly, he stepped towards his bike. Yazoo's would never be able to support them both and would be far too slow. Loz sat on the bike, Yazoo in front of him. He also took out a long, black leather cord and wove it around Yazoo's waist, tying them together. He needed both hands to control the bike, and couldn't hold up Yazoo.

"Please Mother, and whatever God there is, help me save Yazoo. Please..." Loz gunned the engine and started his journey. Where it would lead to was unclear, but one thing was crystal clear. He had failed Kadaj, and he sure as hell wasn't going to repeat his same mistakes with Yazoo.

"I've done my share of crying, now it's my turn to save you."


	4. I'd Die a Thousand Deaths

_**In Kadaj's point of view. **  
_

* * *

_I wanted you to know,  
I love the way you laugh,  
I want to hold you high and steal your pain away,  
I keep your photograph,  
I know it serves me well,  
I want to hold you high and steal your pain..._

It had been half and hour. Loz still had not found Yazoo help. It seemed so hopeless... Yazoo was leaving a long, thin trail of blood across Loz as they sped towards and unknown destination or unknown origins. After I died... Loz and Yazoo shut down. And I know, I abused my role as a leader... and I know I abused the feelings of my brother... that is the part of me you know. You never knew who I really am... or who I wanted to be. Right know, all I want is to cradle Loz and Yazoo in my arms, tell them it's alright... but I can't. I've caused them so much pain... I want it to go away... for them. I'm telling you this through innumerable tears with the guilt tearing my heart out... their hope sews it back in... and every time Yazoo cringes... coughs up a mouthful of the molten rubies that course through his veins, cries those silent tears because he's afraid of the pain... I'm living an eternity of torture. The Lifeforce wanted me to come to it... it even asked if I would prefer Hell... no. I am nowhere. I stand here, next to Loz, unable to really see him, touch him... even speak to him. I'm broken...

_'cause I'm broken when I'm open  
And I don't feel like I am strong enough  
'cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel light when you're gone away..._

These words leave my lips... and they leave a bloody kiss. Yazoo is trying to hold on for Loz... and trying to come to me, his little brother, at the same time. It's physics, even when you're gone away, you can't be in two places at once. All Yazoo wants to do is comfort us... is this truly my fault? The blood and pain they have endured? Is it truly my fault? I have been gone for two days... and already one of my brothers is to the point of suicide on my behalf. **I just want to end it. **I want to live... or move on. I cannot bear this...

_ The worst is over now and we can breathe again  
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away  
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain..._

"I'm a bleeding heart, Yazoo... stay with Loz... I'm broken." gently, the words left my lips. Leaving a hot, bloody touch on my cheek. Yazoo was half here, half there. I could see Loz panicking on the other side. "NO! Yazoo, stay with me... I'm almost there. " Loz touched Yazoo's still shoulders.

"Loz..." Yazoo shifted slightly to turn and lean into Loz's warm chest. "Loz... I'm... sorry...Kadaj...wants...me...to...AH!...er... stay." Yazoo looked pale, blood still flowed, if ever slowly down his chest, the wind whipping it around his sides and into Loz's body. I looked at my brothers and begged not to see anymore... I can't handle this... I'd die a million times in the arms of Cloud. You'd think my death was painless, with the little bit you saw... but no. Every fleeting second hurt just that much more, and even in the comfort of someone's arms... I knew I had failed them. My brothers that I love so dearly were standing tall, though the materia had begun flaring into action, ready to kill Cloud Strife, though he had nothing to do with my... passage.

I don't want to remember I'm dead. I'm not even really dead. Just... trapped. Breaking into a million tiny pieces as my heart is torn out. Would you like to know how it feels? You will, someday. But as I tell you this, you have no idea. You would have to die and be trapped like a snake held upside-down by its tail. Or a woman who dies in labor and then watches, shattered, as the child itself is brought to a cold orphanage to live its life without a hint of warmth.

**You know nothing of what I feel.**

_ 'cause I'm broken when I'm open  
And I don't feel like I am strong enough  
'cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel right when you're gone away..._

Yet again, bloody kisses enticed me and the black abyss that stood waiting grew a fraction bigger. I felt Yazoo's gentle touch on my face and looked back into the window to the world.

"HELP!" Loz half choked, half yelled. He hurridly untied Yazoo from himself and looked at him. Yazoo's silver hair was streaked with blood and the wound in his chest still bled nonstop. The bullet was visible, but just barely. About 100 yeards away, hidden behind the trees, a door to a cabin opened. Out stepped a red-haired Turk called Reno. _'There's still hope for you, nii-san, just hold on.'_

"What's going on out here? Who's there?" Reno whipped out his shockstick. "Identify yourselves!"

"Please help me. He's dying." Loz sounded calm, but I knew, I could feel the pain he withheld. "I need your help... I can't lose him too..." Loz's neutral mask melted and he broke down into shaky tears. "I can't lose him..."

REno knelt beside Loz. "You!?! I thought we..." Reno took another look into Loz's eyes. He realized that the bad guy was crying. "Wha...?" He realized both the unconcious Yazoo and the concious Loz were both covered in blood. I thank whatever gods or goddesses there are for the Turk's compassion. "We'll call a medic. Bring him inside, you both need help."

I looked at the red-haired man and watched as my brothers entered the house, still thanking the gods for the human emotion of compassion.

Loz and Reno were able to call a medic, and Yazoo was saved. The three of them became friends and soon Yazoo was out in society as a respected member of the community.

I would die a thousand deaths just to be able to tell you that. But it isn't true... what happens next, I cannot bear to tell you. My time here runs short, and I must go. I'm... very sorry.

* * *

_**Don't worry, I'll be back. Sorry this chapter wasn't as "enticing" as the last couple. What happens next... I may cry as I type it. I have to go, but I'll be back with more soon! I promise!!!**_


	5. Wish Upon a Star

**In the view point of our beloved Loz.**_  
_

* * *

_**"I open my eyes, I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light,  
I can't remember how, I can't remember why I'm lyin' here tonight  
And I can't stand the pain and I can't make it go away,  
No I can't stand the pain..."**  
_

I helped the red-headed Turk bring Yazoo inside. He told me to lay Yazoo down on the couch. I did, but I couldn't stop looking at him. I kept thinking, "He's going to open his eyes soon, he'll be okay." But I knew, somewhere deep down, that he wasn't going to be okay. The redheaded Turk walked back over to us. He tucked a blanket around Yazoo and handed me one too. I was mortified. Yazoo looked like he was asleep, but to me, he looked like something much worse...

His face was pale. His thin lips were the same color as the tan blanket, and his eyes stayed closed. The Turk walked over to Yazoo and leaned down next to him. He took Yazoo's hand in his and laid his head over Yazoo's heart. The Turk looked so gentle, nothing like the ones that had attacked us before. This one seemed to care about us, and I just stared. I tried to say something, but fear froze my words in my throat. Suddenly, without warning, tears began to run.

"No... Yazoo... don't..." Words choked me. I don't know how to describe any of this... **it burned. **The feeling of loss, my brother... "YOU CAN'T DIE!!!" Crying felt good. I crawled over to Yazoo's still form next to the Turk and laid me head on Yazoo's stomach. " I don't wanna lose you too..."

**_"How could this happen to me?  
I made my mistakes, got nowhere to run  
The night goes on as I'm fading away,  
I'm sick of this life  
I just wanna scream,  
How could this happen to me?"_**

I heard sirens and screeching brakes. A bunch of paramedics in white uniforms came in the door. "Is this him?"

"Yes. His pulse is fast. Too fast. But his skin... it's cold. I... I'm not sure..." The Turk looked at me. "Do you want to go to the hospital with us? You can stay here if you want to rest, that's okay." He walked over to me. I felt his arm around my shoulders. "You gonna be alright, yo?"

I looked at him. "No. I'll never be alright again... Yazoo, he's all I have left. I have nowhere to go... I'm alone... and cold... and I just want him back..." I stood up and followed the paramedics into the ambulance. I sat beside Yazoo. Softly, I stroked his cheek. "Oh Yaz..." I held his hand. It felt different. There was no comfort in the touch of my brother. Just fear. I could feel it in his touch. He was scared. "Don't be scared, brother...I'm still here... I'll always be here for you..." Tears flowed. Gently at first, but soon I could feel the tremors. I shook, and hot tears fell onto Yazoo's face.

_**"Everybody's screaming  
I try to make a sound but no one hears me  
I'm slipping off the edge  
I'm hanging by a thread  
I wanna start this over again"**  
_

"D-don't... cry... Loz..." Yazoo's voice was a ghost of a whisper. I felt his grip tighten around mine. I looked at him, then looked away. I couldn't bear to see him, brave, strong, elegant Yazoo look like this... my heart was being torn out. Yazoo's eyes were still clear, but their energy was gone. Yazoo's eyes were always sparkling. They were always so comforting. But now, they were filled with heartache. Yazoo squeezed my hand again. "Loz... I... want you... to... get it... out..." With every word, a muscle in his jaw twitched with a stab of exertion.

I knew what he meant. He wanted me to pull the bullet out. "No, I-I can't."

"Please..." Yazoo let go of mmy hand and laid it on my cheek. "Don't... look at... me like...that. I'm...gonna make... it." He smiled at me. The tiny sliver of hope hit my heart with the force of a train. Even though he was so weak, Yazoo had the same, devious look in his smile. I smiled back. Yazoo hand dropped back to the stretcher he was on. I took it back into my hand and leaned down.

"I know you'll make it. We're strong." I kissed his forehead. "We'll get through this... for Daaj." Once more, tears constricted my throat.

**_"So I try to hold  
On to a time when  
Nothing mattered  
And I can't explain  
What happened and I can't erase the things that I've done  
No I can't.." _**

* * *

**"Hey Loz, wake up!" Loz, the bulky 12 year-old was shaken awake by his brother, Yazoo. "Come see this! Kadaj is already outside!" Yazoo's bright smile was visible, even in the dim room. **

**"What? What is it?" Loz rubbed one eye. **

**"You'll see. Come on, Lozzy!!!" Yazoo was enthusiastic, so whatever it was must be pretty cool. **

**"Okay, Okay. I'm coming." Loz threw the blanket off. He noticed that Kadaj _wasn't _in his normal place, sleeping between Loz and Yazoo. Loz got out of bed, his 11 year-old brother leading him outside. "Wow!"**

**Outside, the sky was lit up by a million sparkling candles. Stars everywhere. "See Loz?" Yazoo pointed at the sky, leading Loz to their sitting-spot by the hand. "Shooting stars!" It was true. Loz and Yazoo went to the spot where Kadaj sat on a blanket laid out on the ground. **

**"Isn't it pretty?" Kadaj sighed. He loved things like this. Beautiful things were hard to find. Kadaj had a silver pocket mirror he had found in an old building that he kept with him everwhere. One of the mirrors was cracked when they found it, so they took it out and put in a picture of all three of them. **

**Yazoo sighed. "It's so beautiful..." Yazoo, no matter how dispassionate me may seem, loved beautiful things too. "Hey! Let's all make a wish together." Yazoo's long silver hair glittered as a particularly bright star shot through the sky. **

**"Yeah! It'll come true if a lot of people wish it!" Kadaj smiled. He laid his head on Loz's lap. "I don't know what we should wish for." Kadaj, the 9 year-old, youngest of the three cuddled into Loz. **

**Yazoo leaned on Loz too. "What do you mean, Daajy? You always want _something_." **

**" I mean, for all of us. We have _everything _we need. I mean, I can't even think of anything I want in the world more than my brothers when I'm sad." Kadaj's voice was sweet, innocent. Loz sniffed.**

**"Aww... don't cry Lozzy..." Yazoo wrapped his arms around his older brother. He stroked Loz's hair. **

**"I know what to wish for..." Loz said. Kadaj sat up and wrapped his arms around Loz, too. "We should wish.." He whispered to both of his brothers. They both smiled in agreement. "Are you ready?" He put and arm around either of his brothers. **

**The three waited, and soon, they all held each other tightly and whispered in perfect unison, _"I wish we could be together for ever and ever and ever." _**

**Loz and Yazoo opened their eyes, but Kadaj kept his shut tight. His soft voice whispered, barely audible. "And ever!" **

**The three boys laughed and laid down on the blanket under the stars. All three drifted to sleep, and above, three stars, in perfect unison, glided across the sky.**

* * *

Loz awoke as the ambulance pulled into the hospital. He looked at Yazoo. The younger was asleep, his chest rising and falling. His breathing was stable, normal, and a smile laid on his lips. He opened his eyes as the door to the back of the ambulance opened. For the first time, he spoke without having to pause, a new strength in his voice. "I love you, Loz." Loz smiled, tears forming in his eyes. 

"I love you too, Yazoo." Loz began to realease Yazoo's hand. Yazoo gripped his tight once again.

"Here, Loz." Yazoo handed Loz a pair of gloves. Once more, he smiled. His pale lips regaining some color. "I'll see you soon, brother." The paramedics took the stretcher out of the ambulance. Another doctor led Loz out of the ambulance and into the sickly-green colored lobby of the hospital.

"Will he be alright?" Loz looked at the doctor, hoping for some comforting words.

"Well, when we picked you two up, we thought he wasn't going to make it." The doctor looked at Loz. "But on the way, we heard you talking to him. After that, he... it's a miracle, but he has already begun to revive. I can tell you two are brothers." The doctor looked straight at Loz. Loz looked into his eyes. "You really love your brother, don't you?"

"Yes." Loz looked down. "Both of them."

"Both?" The doctor sat down and Loz followed.

"Yes." Loz gulped. " We have... had... a younger brother. Kadaj. He...d..." Loz choked. "di...he..went away for awhile..." Loz felt the tears coming back. "That's why I can't lose Yazoo. I need him... we, as brothers, even when Kadaj was alive, we've always kept each other going. Now, if in the event of..." Loz stopped. He wouldn't think about that. " I love him. Yazoo is my lifeblood." He wiped his tears away, but more came. "Without him, I'll have nothing to live for."

The doctor looked at him. "I know how you feel." He looked down too. "I lost my sister last year. She was everything to me." The doctor looked up, staring into space.

"W-what was her n-name?" Loz asked. Somehow, it felt right to talk to someone who knew how he felt.

"Her name was Aerith. Aerith Gainsborough. She was so amazing. When she died, I shut down. But you know what?" The doctor looked at Loz. "You don't grieve. You remember all the good and beautiful things about your loved one. Kadaj, what did he love? I mean, I just met you and I can tell you love your brothers. What are the good things you remember?" The doctor looked at him. " You can talk to me. It's easier to talk to someone who knows the pain."

"Kadaj loved... looking at the stars. He always said he wanted to be one. He had a poem he used to say. He memorized it from a book. It went something like, _'My Heaven-stars, tell me, I shall become, A living God. My earth-doubts tell me, I am Eternities immortal fool.' _He would say that at night." Loz smiled as he remembered times where things didn't hurt. Ever night, he would wait until Yazoo and I were asleep, and then he would go to the window, and... and he would wish on a star... that... we would all, Kadaj, me, and Yazoo, that we would all be together... forever." Loz looked down. " I guess wishing upon a star doesn't work... he had this silver pocket mirror, too. It folded open, and there were two mirrors. When we found it, one mirror was cracked, so Kadaj drew a picture of the three of us and stuck it in there. He always had it with him..."

"Loz, wishes do come true." The doctor put an arm around Loz's shoulders. "Your brothers will always be with you. You just have to keep your mind open. He'll talk to you from his Paradise." The doctor smiled. "I have to go, but I can come back and check on you. Do you need anything? Food? Water?"

"No. I don't think I could eat anything, anyway. But thanks."

"Alright. I'll see you later. It was nice talking to you Loz. Really nice." The doctor gave him a quick hug and stood up. "Really, really nice."

Loz sat alone for awhile, thinking about all the doctor said. He put his face in his hands. He could feel Kadaj in his heart. He cleared his mind of everything. He pictured shooting stars in the night sky. He watched the stars. Soon, he heard, _'Be strong, nii-san. I love you.' _He thought it was his imagination, but he could swear he had heard Kadaj.

A gentle, warm hand touched Loz's shoulder. Loz turned to face the source of this touch.

The man had red hair. It was the Turk. "Hey, I heard you talking to him in the ambulance, Yazoo, I think his name was. I was in the front." He paused. "My name is Reno, just to say." He looked at his feet. "You really love him, don't you?"

Loz smiled faintly. "Yeah. I do."

Reno was quiet, his hands were folded and he stared at the floor. "You know, when we were fighting you guys, I... I thought you were just a gang of punks that dyed your hair silver as some kind of Sephiroth Shout-Out." He shrugged. "I guess... I never thought you were brothers. I mean, you were wicked in sync... but..." He trailed off. "I've never had anything like that. Family, I mean." He stared at a lamp, as if trying to make it crack with his mind.

"You don't have a family?" Loz couldn't dream of what it would be like to not have brothers. No one to hold you when you were hurt or scared, no one to shoot at those who hurt or scared you, no one to comfort you... he shivered inwardly. "I...I don't know what that would be like...I've never really... NOT had anyone..." Loz stopped and laughed faintly. "Heh... this isn't helping..."

"Heh... I mean... I grew up in a rough neighborhood, and I was always out... in this gang-thing." Reno scoffed. "It was so stupid... I left one day. Turns out, this other gang really hated me. I was the leader, ya know? So he..." Reno choked. "He took his gang and... went to my house. I came back just in time... I beat the crap outta him and told him to stay away. My mom was inside, scared half to death. My dad came back home drunk... and he was all yelly and stuff. I went upstairs with mom." He shook his head sharply, as if trying to shake the memory away. "She said that we were gonna leave, and go live with her sister, my Aunt Kaire." Reno smiled a bit when he mentioned his aunt. "The next day, I left the gang. I set this other guy in charge, my best friend. Normally, a gang member that wanted to leave got the crud beaten out of him, but these guys were my friends, so they just wished me luck. I got home, and my mom told me to hurry and grab only stuff I needed. I only grabbed one thing. My grandmother's old music box." Reno paused.

"What happened?" Loz looked at Reno. This is the most he'd ever heard anyone besides his brothers talk, and the sound of someone's voice sounded good to him.

"I... my dad came home early. Before we could leave. He got really mad, and hit my mom. She fell, and I just... freaked out. I was about 16, and I already had mako. I just... attacked him. Next thing I knew, he was unconscious on the floor... I ran to mom, but she didn't move. I didn't know what to do. I..." Reno stopped. Loz could see the tears on his face, dripping onto the floor. I touched his shoulder.

"Go on, I'm listening." Loz was surprised by his own voice. It was cracking, too.

"I..." Reno looked at Loz. Their eyes met. "People do crazy things when their hurt. Crazy things. Your brother did a pretty crazy-ass thing because he hurt, too." Reno sighed shakily. "I... I did the only thing I could think of..." He looked at his hands. Loz could see they were scarred. So were his arms. "I... I burned the whole house down..." Reno put his face in his hands. Loz could feel his sobs shaking his entire body. "I should have checked again... she could've been alive still... I'm evil..." He cried. Loz set a hand on his shoulder.

"Why would you say that? You're not evil. You _saved_ Yazoo." Loz looked at Reno. He couldn't even dream of Reno being evil.

"I'm evil..." Reno looked at Loz, his eyes shining with tears. "It's my fault they're dead." Reno shook with new sobs. "If I could've just... seen Mom smile again... tell her I loved her... how much I loved her..." Reno choked again.

"It's not your fault... Reno, it's your Dad's." Loz evaluated in his head. He was made with a great intelligence, so he figured it out."When... when you're dad hit your mom...I... I think it might've...I'm really sorry, but I think it might've broken her neck... she died suddenly... I... I'm not helping am I?"

"Actually... yeah. You... are." Reno inhaled and exhaled slowly. His breathing was shakey. "Would she have felt any pain? If..."

"No. If you die of a broken neck... you don't feel anything." Loz felt strange. Talking about things like this would usually trigger something inside of him and he would cry, even though it was usually subtle. "She wouldn't have hurt at all."

Loz stopped. He wondered now, had Kadaj hurt when he died? When he and Yazoo had gotten there, Kadaj was in Cloud's arms. He had reached a towards the sky and just... turned into a million sparkling things. Loz realized something, now. "Kadaj... when he died... well, when we were little, he loved stars, right?"

Reno nodded, looking at Loz.

"He always said he wanted to be in the sky with the stars. When he died, I think... all those shiny green orbs... were all the stars he had wished on." Loz looked at Reno. He blushed. "I know. That's really childish, huh?"

"No." Reno wiped his eyes and smiled. " I think... that's really beautiful." Reno looked at Loz. "It makes sense. It's kind of... poetic in a way. Yeah." He looked up at Loz. He had an expression on his face like he had just hit a revolution. "My mom... she really loved birds. Red birds, actually. She always called me 'Redbird'. After she died... I was in this field in a tree. I always climbed up somewhere high when I wanted to think. I looked up, and on the branch right above me, there was this big cardinal. Big, red bird. It just... looked at me, and I felt like everything was gonna be okay... Do you think... like... when my mom died, she turned into a Redbird?"

Loz smiled at him. "If Kadaj could turn into a million stars, and his own constellation, anything is possible."

Reno looked at Loz, his face still thoughtful, not really focusing on Loz's face. "Yeah... you're right!!!" Reno smiled brightly.

Loz and Reno talked for awhile. Loz talked and laughed and smiled and for the first time in awhile, he felt hope. Hope for Yazoo, hope for his newfound friend, hope for himself. The future looked different in his perspective now.

Above the hospital, in the night sky, the stars shone. But there were three stars that shone brighter than the rest... Kadaj looked down at his brother. '_oh Loz. I love you. Be brave, nii-san. I'm always with you.'_

* * *

_**To be continued...**  
_


	6. Miraculously BAD Luck

Loz felt himself drowsing off. He forced himself awake again. "I can't sleep. Not until I know Yazoo is okay... not until..." Loz yawned. "I can see him..." His eyes closed and he drifted into oblivion. A memory that had been locked away in his subconcious slowly took form...

_**"LOZ! RUN!" Yazoo screamed. "TAKE KADAJ AND RUN!!!" Loz looked around. Kadaj lay motionless on the floor a few feet away. Loz scooped him up and started to the door. Gunshots pierced the air. He looked back at Yazoo standing with his back pressing the door closed. His guns were out and he had a fearful look on his face. "RUN!"**_

_** "I won't leave you Yazoo!!!" Loz screamed over the blasts that shattered the night. " I can't leave you here!" Smoke stung his eyes and the scent of gunpowder made his throat burn. Kadaj moaned softly in his arms. **_

_**"I'LL BE FINE! JUST TAKE KADAJ AND RUN!" Yazoo had a look in his eyes. The look he got when he knew a situation was hopeless. Loz ran towards the door. He looked back at Yazoo and saw his brother's distressed face streaked with tears. His pale lips trembled. "I'LL SEE YOU SOON NII-SAN! I PROMISE!"**_

_**Loz had never known Yazoo to break a promise. He looked back at Yazoo and screamed, " BE CAREFUL!" He ran to the other door and kicked it down. Once more, he looked over his shoulder. He did this just in time to see Yazoo's lips form the words, "I love you." **_

Loz woke up, suddenly in need of water. He could feel the memory of smoke and gunpowder burning in his throat. He walked to the water fountain and took a drink. He felt eyes staring at him. He looked over his shoulder and saw a female nurse staring at him. When he met her eyes she blushed and looked away. He walked back to his seat and sighed. It was going to be a long night.

Loz sat for awhile in the waiting room. Soon, he got fidgety and stood up, stretching his muscles. He walked a few steps and then jumped up and down a few times to wake his legs up. He was still worried, but he had a new hope. He turned to sit down again and noticed a pair of black gloves. The pair that Yazoo had given him. He picked them up and sat down. They felt heavier than they should've and there was something inside of one of them. He shook it out.

Loz gasped softly. In his hand laid a silver mirror. Kadaj's silver mirror. Loz felt tears in his eyes. He looked at the gloves and noticed they were smaller than his or Yazoo's. _Kadaj's gloves... _Loz stroked the mirror's surface gently, like it would shatter if he put a fraction of pressure on it. Carefully, he opened it. He was greeted by his own reflection. Looking inside, like he remembered, only one mirror was intact. The other side had a small picture of the three brothers in it. Loz raised his eyebrows. This picture was glossy. A print of a picture from a camera. With a steady finger, he pulled it out gently. Underneath it was another, and another, and another. He took out about six photos until he saw the one Kadaj had drawn with charred wood so many years ago.

"So Kadaj _was_ keeping pictures of the three of us in here..." Loz smiled through his tears. _Oh Kadaj... _Loz smiled and tucked the pictures back into the mirror. He noticed one had dropped to the floor. He leaned over to pick it up. When he did, he examined it. It was a photo of the three of them, but it had writing on the back. Loz had to squint to read Kadaj's small, messy manuscript.

_**Together, Forever and For Always. Loz, Yazoo, and Kadaj.**_

Loz took a breath and wiped his eyes on his sleeve. He had been crying a lot lately. Loz chuckled. "Heh... Kadaj would be pretty happy with all the jokes he could make... then again, if Kadaj was here, none of this would've happened..." Loz looked up to see the doctor he had been speaking to a few hours earlier. "Oh, hey. How's...?" Loz trailed off. The doctor had a somber look on his face. Loz prepared himself for the worst. The doctor looked at him silently. Loz realized he had stopped breathing and inhaled deeply.

"Your brother... he's..." The doctor sat down next to Loz. Loz looked at his somber face. "Your brother... it was a miracle..."

"What?" Loz looked at him. He had heard about 'miracles' before, from Jenova. "A... a what?"

"A miracle... the bullet was lodged in so deep, we thought we were going to fracture the spinal cord if we took it out. But it came out." The doctor paused. "You see, the thing with miracles is... there's always good and bad news..." The doctor trailed off, staring into space.

"What's the bad news?" Loz felt himself choking up.

"We didn't fracture the spine... not majorly. The thing is..." The doctor looked at Loz. " Your brother... he... he may never be able to use his legs again..."

* * *

**Oooh sweet suspense!! Stay tuned!**


	7. The End

"Yazoo. Wake up... please..."

Yazoo's eyelids fluttered open. "Where... where am I?" He sat up and looked around. He was in the middle of a wide, grassy field. "Am I in Midgar?" he rubbed one of his eyes with a fist.

The boy beside him smiled. "No... you died in your sleep last night..." He looked sad.

Yazoo laughed uneasily. "You're... you're kidding, right? Heh heh... this is just a dream." Yazoo stared, slight tears in his eyes. "W-wait... Daaj?"

Kadaj smiled sadly. "Yes, nii-san... you're in the lifestream." Kadaj held his hand. "I..." The teenager was lost for words. Yazoo realized he was facing his deceased brother... and then the shock hit him. He had killed himself.

"L..." Yazoo tried, but he couldn't manage to force his elder brother's name from between his lips. Hot tears began falling from his shining mako-eyes. Kadaj held his brother in his arms, attempting to console him thru his own tears. Yazoo's stomach dropped, realizing he had left Loz alone... utterly alone.

"Kadaj, I have to go back... I... I didn't even say goodbye..." He sobbed, the choked cries racking his body with convulsions. "I didn't even say goodbye..."

Kadaj's expression was pained. Was it wrong that at first he was _happy_ to see Yazoo drift into the Lifestream? Kadaj wrapped his arms around his crying brother's waist. He whispered, his voice barely audible, "I missed you..."

Yazoo returned Kadaj's embrace. " I missed you too, little brother..." He buried his face into Kadaj's neck. '_Oh Lozzy..._'

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

Loz looked up as the Doctor approached him. The man's expression was unreadable. The bulky 24-year-old stood up, weaving his fingers together in his nervousness. He stared blankly as the man stopped in front of him.

"...Loz, I'm so very sorry... your brother..." The Doctor hiccupped. "Your brother didn't make it through the surgery."

Loz's heart stopped it's beat in his chest. Suddenly dizzy, he fell back as sour bile rose in his throat. He collapsed on the ground, motionless, the last words in his mind, _"Forever and for always..."_

He watched as Doctors, nurses, and patients panicked, running to and away from him soundlessly. A steady stream of mixed blood and bile dripped from the corner of his mouth. The corners of his vision blurred, making the world look fuzzy.

The Doctor was speaking to him, but Loz just stared. So much blood... He had been alone. All. Alone. But not now.

Loz's finger slackened on the trigger of Yazoo's Velvet Nightmare as the world swam before him.

"_I'm coming, Yazoo... I'm coming."_

**The End.**


End file.
